The beauty in the mire

So I haven't blogged a darn thing in a long time, and some loved ones of mine were giving me some good-natured grief about it the other day, so I thought I'd change my ways and start to blog once more.

So that whole lovely distraction thing is much different than it was...she actually broke up with me on the way to the jazz game. Wow. Candice would have said wow for sure. It was a winner; an evening of awkwardness for the record books, but since it's been long enough, I actually find it quite funny. Jake told me the other day that a tragedy+time=humor. I think it's the truth. The following is a poem I wrote while my little ticker was still sore, and although I no longer feel this way at all, that shouldn't take away from the poem's literary worth. It's amazing how much describing the way you feel about something can give you the strength to let it go.

Here goes:

Yet untitled by 'the Shaner'

I’m blown away
By your apathy
Marveled by your lies
I question my
Own self-interest now
After a thousand tries

You could sell the devil a furnace, girl
Cause you sure pulled one on me
And I don’t know if I’ll ever believe
It’s ‘cause it wasn’t meant to be

You made me believe you really cared
But said everything just right
So you could pretend you’d never dared
To fall in love? Not quite…

I really bought it, all the way
But you took me for a joke
You said “I never loved you.”
And drifted off like smoke

Once you fell you ran away
Embarrassed at the thought
That someone like me could be with you
And love you like I ought.

Although they may have been untrue
The beautiful things you told me
Although it’s all over I just have to say
I’d still love to buy what you sold me

Underwhelmed is all I’ve got
All I can begin to grasp
And if you once more, should come this way
I probably wouldn’t ask
If you had changed you mind at all
Before I jumped back in,
And set myself up to fall a little more
In love with your lies again.