Left lane laziness

So I thought I’d take a minute to vent about bad habits that approximately 47% of Utah drivers. Hopefully it won’t take too long.

So I’m driving down to Salt Lake today for a family dinner, and I’m not racing to get there or anything, but I’m moving right along. I can’t even tell you how many times I had to slow down behind some dipcrap poking along in the left lane. You have to pass them in the right lane. It’s the only way around them. You can flash your lights, honk your horn, pretty much anything, and they just cruise along remaining in their ignorant bliss. There could be 3 state troopers with lights flashing, a fire truck with it’s fog horn blowing right behind them, and a clown on a motorcycle in front of them with a big sign on his back that says “Move over nincompoop!” and there they would remain. I think if a truck full of land mines jackknifed and dumped all of it’s contents in the left lane, some of these individuals would remain there, waiting for a cleanup crew to arrive rather than change lanes. All of them must have missed the day in driver’s ed where they discussed that you drive in the RIGHT LANE except to pass. Perhaps they were taught this principle by a dyslexic driver’s ed teacher who got it mixed up. So sad.

Maybe they are just afraid of the uncertainty of the right lane. “What if someone wants to merge?!? Aaack! Could I deal with that? What if I end up behind a Buick and I have to (Gasp) alter my speed? That could be too much!”

I guess it upsets me because I see driving as a dance, and if everyone moves properly, it can be an almost artistic, harmonious experience. It’s a fluid interaction, a series of planned maneuvers and compromises, which can optimize both efficiency and enjoyment. A machine out of many machines. It could be marvelous. But some will never see it that way. They’d rather set the cruise, turn on the DVD player and let the media raise their kids, and somehow take a nap while driving on the interstate.